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I have been away from this site for too long! Seriously, I have to go through a delete all my old messages and read the new ones xD
I hope you've all been patient. I do have some lineart I've wanted to color and post, even if it's a few months old, and I may even post something old of mine I never got around to... you know.
I'm trying to patch myself up. I've been going through a lot of depression. So, please bear with my creepy or depressing work. I'm not currently in college, so my only excuse is that I'm lazy o#o enough said.
Once again, I want to thank every one of my watchers. You've really pushed me to continue drawing with your encouraging statements. Please keep up the positive attitudes ^^ (I certainly need it) I'll get back to working on my art when I'm good and ready, so please keep your patience! DON'T GIVE UP ON ME OAO mwuaha. buhahaha. mweh. Well. Derp
I hope you've all been patient. I do have some lineart I've wanted to color and post, even if it's a few months old, and I may even post something old of mine I never got around to... you know.
I'm trying to patch myself up. I've been going through a lot of depression. So, please bear with my creepy or depressing work. I'm not currently in college, so my only excuse is that I'm lazy o#o enough said.
Once again, I want to thank every one of my watchers. You've really pushed me to continue drawing with your encouraging statements. Please keep up the positive attitudes ^^ (I certainly need it) I'll get back to working on my art when I'm good and ready, so please keep your patience! DON'T GIVE UP ON ME OAO mwuaha. buhahaha. mweh. Well. Derp
Work, food, sleep, SCREAMING jk
Agh... when was the last time I typed one of these? Not trying to sound apathetic. I've been really busy. Yesterday was Halloween with countless little Trick-Or-Treaters and I wore a wig and full disguised costume to help my friend give candy to kids. :) Not often do I deal with younglings but it's funny how they hardly had manners or said "Trick or Treat" or "Thank you" and simply dove their greedy hands in the bucket and grinned at us. Though the two of us were offended by the terrible parenting of this county, there's no opinion I can give having no kids of my own. But it made me think how DRASTICALLY Halloween has changed here since 1997 and on. F***** BULL**** people wtf OK, seriously. I'm working on a sign for a business soon opening in this county and it's a huge project which makes me thrilled to say, in advance, for receiving MY FIRST PAYCHECK EVER I'm super impressed to have gotten this far. There are a lot of things unrelated to work going on, such as playing mobile games on
Literally 100 DEGREES
You probably guessed it. It's summer. It's hot. I bought popsicle molds and am not obsessed with freezing fruit in fruit juice of another species. Yes, it's hot, but that's not all I'm saying. I can't believe ow much time has flown by. One minute I was getting an iron infusion and now 7 months later I'm starting my own career and making something of myself. I never understood why people think art has mistakes. It merely has points that can be more focused on, and what one person thinks is a flaw is a masterpiece to someone else, which is is similar to how I got my job. I won't be giving up. I won't be leaving this website. But my efforts should be focused on the real world and people around me who need things done. It'll be years from now when I'll be by myself, having to prove I can be is hard but support is often necessary for survival. Speaking of survival, how do I make my cat stop attacking our 1 year old kitten? Really need to know. Sometimes Gertie will be lying still all
In Sickness and Grief
I know it has been damn near forever since i came back. This entry is gonna be full of typos, I;m sorry about that. This is a new laptop, or as new as we coukd =get,. I don;t expect any of you to understand the disappearance of my original works. Their deletion was entirely intended. I can;t take requests now, now that my eczema is so painful on my hands i can;t do much of anything other than be glad i have help around the house, My concerns for this page are certain: I love this community and I won't let it go. There are some big changes i want to make here, which are about to be explained. I cannot do traditional art work anymore. Saddening, yes, sad, but I have a plan. I've spent a year saving my money for a certain art tablet so I won't get my hands itchy from graphite. I know it means I won't play as many videogames (since screens give me headaches) but I'll be doing something I love and have long awaited. 2. My own health is coming above alll else. There is something wrong with
Losses we cut
There are some things that bother me and some that don't. At times, people's claims bother me most. I can't change their opinion, but I can change my opinion of them faster. It doesn't bother me to take requests for a friend, but it does bother me to have too many to do on top of my real job. And with my crumbling skin riddled by eczema, nobody should expect me to make art for anyone expect my boss. And I honestly like her more than some of my friends, due to her innate understanding of my condition. Life continues on, even if I hate it some days, even if I'm too tired to focus and my cat lays around like a 50 pound doorstop. I have the power to bring a positive outlook into life, the ability to go to bed early, but maybe not a certainty I can make Gertie exercise... so we're buying her a wheel. You know, like a hamster wheel, but bigger. I completely understand her lack of motivation. She just lost her playmate who's been with her since kitten hood. And I guess cats show depression different than adult humans. For my mother, tearing apart the blanket Spot slept on to make a large, soft, warm rug is her way to move on. My stepfather isn't trying to hide how he feels; In fact, he talks quite openly about it, which I appreciate. He'd been sort of closed off beforehand. But now I'm left wondering how I will move on. Spot was a very special friend to me, the one and only cat left who would lay on me and just purr like a motor, but knowing that'll never happen again... it's not easy. (No, I will not post images of her dead body. Gross. Just stuff from before.) I keep my composure every day. I know she wouldn't approve of me crying two hours a day, but at the same time, I want to scream, throw things, break inanimate objects like pencil boxes, lampposts, rend everything from my shelves and cry in the mess, but I can't. It'll be hard to clean, for instance. Spot's age wasn't defined exactly. By the tests from the vet, he said she might have been 22 year old and the oldest, healthiest albino cat he had ever seen. We knew she was going from the lack of eating or drinking. Eventually I saw her just lay around open-eyed and unblinking. Sooo many times I anxiously watched to see her breathe. Then, when the day came, it was over quick. No more suffering. No more cuddling. No more tag with Gertie. Just gone in a relaxed exhale. ... ... ... ......... I guess what is different is also the same. Things that bothered me once are becoming acceptable in new ways. She's watching us in Heaven. So now I have to take care of who's still here. If I don't post for a while, no need to worry about me. We'll be remodeling our home. Rearranging furniture, replacing things. I'll be donating clothes to the Church and moving my broken dresser out of my room. I can't make us feel 100% like it used to be, but I can help make this place more spacious and comfortable. We'll be focusing on our mental health and looking after Gertie... because now, she's my only baby. As for art, I'll post when I'm able to finish something. I won't push myself to the point of bleeding fingers. Yes, I have painful limits now. We're trying to find me a digital tablet to draw on... that would be nice. Until then, I hope photos will be satisfying enough. Good day.
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awsome welcome back how are u?